The strange thing about me was that all my life, odd things would happen. I say odd as you can’t explain them in terms of them being planned or even created, well not by me anyway. They were just strange, in the sense that out of nowhere something big always happened. Most of the time it would come after a long period of feeling down and not so good about myself. I would feel so low and have no energy to do things or have time for anyone. Then just when I have decided that that’s enough and I can’t face another heartache, a glimmer of light shines through and something creeps into it.
As a child, I remember being with my family and we would go for long walks and have a picnic now and again with the church. We didn’t have a lot of money, so instead found ways to be together, share things and just be us. We would run up the hills and back down again. The air blowing in our faces and the sun shining down on us. Father always liked to take his bike and we would take turns on being on the bike with him. I didn’t dare go down the hills with him, my mother did God bless her. She would sit on the front and then father would peddle as fast as he could and then let the bike just roll and roll on its own down the hillside. They often fell off and laughed and laughed. I thought it funny and a little embarrassing if I am honest. But all the same was happy to see them happy.
Not all days were like this though. Some days were very hard and mother and father would be pale and totally worn out. Both would sit in the chairs near the fire and just glare into the fire. Nobody spoke either. Deadly silence. the feeling that something was wrong, but nobody dare mention it. I did speak to them but was often told to be quiet or go to my room. I found it hard as a child to see my parents switch from being so happy and full of life one minute to then being in the darkest place of all. The hardest thing was not having a brother or sister to talk to take my mind off things. If I did have one, we could go out and play all the time and when our parents were tired, we wouldn’t be in the way.
Having me was the first strange thing that had happened in our family. My mother had been told that there was just no way she would have children and if she did, she may not be able to carry them to full term. She had been expecting before me and had lost quite a few babies. They don’t know that I know this, but I would often hear them talking when I was upstairs about it and why it had to happen to them? What had they done that meant they could not have these children?
They spoke about me. Mother had said that she didn’t know that she was pregnant with me. She had become pregnant and again had lost the baby, or though she thought she had. Then as a few months went by, she noticed her tummy growing, but ignored it as it was the summer and we had lots of vegetables and fruit to eat and she thought it was down to the good food. Then by a few months later. She bent down to get something from the cupboard something in her tummy moved. She ignored it, as she often had digestive problems and just rubbed it. As she rubbed it, she felt it again. This time she closed the kitchen door and pulled up her dress and looked down. She rubbed her tummy again and then she saw what looked like a little hand reaching out. She instantly sat down in shock. She didn’t know what to do. The tears started to come and she became afraid. Just then a knock at the door mother opened it and it was the lady from around the corner. She was not from our church, but a good friend of the family. This lady and her friends had meetings at this ladies house.
She asked mother if she was okay and she said she had had a shock. When asked she told her what had happened and the woman asked if she could feel her tummy. She agreed and then the baby moved again. I think you have a little miracle in there. A little baby that is very strong and determined to come into this world.
Mother agreed but said she had been told she had lost a baby a few months back and yet I must have been carrying this baby for about 7 months. Let me close my eyes and see if we can find out what has happened. Yes, I can see it very clearly. You were carrying twins. Twins, yes, twins. A boy and a girl. The little boy didn’t make it, but the little girl is still fighting on. How do you know that, I work in a special way, that allows me to hear and be given information about certain things in life? I wouldn’t tell anyone what I have told you, you must see the doctor.
Mother agreed and the lady went and fetched the doctor. The doctor arrived and examined mother and was totally shocked. He scratched his head and walked around the room. He couldn’t believe it. What’s wrong mother said, with a tremor in her voice. Nothing, you have nothing to worry about, you are with child and you are around 8 months pregnant. I cannot explain how it’s happened, but happened it did and you are going to be a mother congratulations.
Mother cried and the lady cried and the doctor. Where is your husband, is he around? Not at the moment but he won’t be long.
Everyone left and mother sat in the chair by the fire singing to her baby and rubbing her tummy. Father then arrived home and sat opposite her. What it is my dear, have you been crying.? I have, I have the most wonderful news to tell you, She then grabbed his hand and put it on her tummy, and as before the baby moved. We are going to be parents. The doctor said I am about 8 months. Father knelt down, but his arms around mothers waste and placed his head on her tummy. He kissed her tummy and said ” Hello little one”, this is your father talking, I can’t wait to meet you, mother and I are overjoyed you have chosen us as your parents. Mother and father both cried and then when they had finished they thanked God, for bringing me to them.